I am writing about both of these two apparently distinct issues as if they are one, as they both seem to be permeating my life at present.
On the one hand, I should be doing some important work which is needed to complete a project. I was once fired up about this and in essence, I still am. However, I am writing this blog instead of attending to it. Perhaps it is not urgent enough and I am waiting for a deadline to be set in order to motivate me? Is it because it needs a sustained length of time to research and develop and I am easily distracted? “I should just do this quickly and get it out of the way” or “I will just respond to my emails quickly” – well, I have been down that last rabbit hole often enough. Perhaps, after all, it is a lack of self-confidence. It is a body of work which I truly believe in and know something about, but I am not yet an expert. I cannot become that expert, unless I practice it, and that practice has to start at some point. And as a colleague once pointed out, knowledge and experience is on a continuum – you may only be half way there, but there will be many who will benefit from the expertise gained so far.
The frustration, of course, is directly connected. There is little more motivating for me than achieving the goals I set myself. When I am not moving forward, I get irritated with myself and little frustrations start to creep into my being. Interestingly, I have noticed that as I procrastinate with one project, I seem to apply a similar delay to all other important but not urgent work. This is appearing to become a pattern.
In the interest of breaking this pattern right now, I will end this blog and take the next step towards completion of this project.
This post was written by Merridy Edgson