We all have those people in our lives. Those super organised people who always know what to do or who to contact if they don’t. Usually, they eat moderately, drink moderately, exercise regularly and are generally happy and healthy. They are caring people too – they genuinely want those who are nearest and dearest to them to also be happy. They bend over backwards to do things for those closest to them. You are in a financial fix? Well let me see how I can help. You need something? Let me tell you how you can get it. Or better still, let me organise it for you.
These are good people. When there is a crisis, you really want someone like this around. They make quick decisions and know exactly what needs to be done – and they do it. Some people feel their sense of purpose is to do things for others, and this is a noble cause. Or is it?
Here are some thoughts for the “fixers” to ponder:
• Is your “helping” really helping?
• Is the person you are helping, changing their behaviour or are you enabling them?
• Is your super organised being making those in your life feel disempowered?
• Is it possible that those you are helping need to first learn to help themselves?
Sometimes, people need to feel the hard knocks. They have the answer within themselves and often the path is not the way of the “fixer”. They need their happy organised friends/family members– but they need them for their non-judgemental, emotional support. They need to be listened to and heard and in the process they will find their way.
This post was written by Merridy Edgson